Cycles of Separation

My path cycles regularly. I receive a great revelation and am lifted toward the heavens in my thoughts and ideas. Then shortly afterward (days) I feel downcast and alone… even to the point of feeling separate from the Light that comes from above. I begin to wonder if the great feeling I had before was a trick and maybe – because I have found myself again downcast - am being deceived by darkness? I begin to question every piece of knowledge that has entered my mind. Everything becomes very confusing and I feel a heavy weight – like a darkness – within my spirit start to bear down on me. I can only relate back to what I know (a word I use very loosely) about the presence of God. My mind recalls God’s presence has never felt like a looming doom, but that God has always felt like a wide open space of possibilities, quietude, peace, and truth revealed beyond my ability to understand. The contemplation of this brings me peace and a feeling of joy. I feel an eagerness to find a quiet place where I can close my eyes and hear God’s presence filling the spaces around me. Then I can be reminded again that I am small and that God is great. That God has never left me and tears can well above a smile, and I can feel refreshed again… but until when? And why must I ask that question?